Life's Questions - Dating

This weeks ponderable is love - and more specifically dating. Two of my friends have recently started going out and I know that their relationship is grounded in love and prayer (indeed I've had the fortune of being able to borrow some good sermons on God/sex/relationships, which I may let you know about in the near future). What can we learn from Scripture about dating?

Dating can be fun and exiting when you meet someone special. As you spend more time together, romance often blossoms. At first look, this seems to be a great way to get to know members of the opposite sex. How else can you get to know someone that you are attracted to? But for Christians, dating can also bring about some confusion: can I date a non-Christian? Is it wrong to date at all? Let's not even get on to teachings on physical contact ... ! The Bible does not get very specific with these questions. But it does tell us not to marry non-Christians, stay away from sexual sin and guard our hearts from things that can lead to immorality. When we use this wisdom to seek to honour God in our relationships, our perspectives change. We won't be thinking about how close we can get to the boundaries and instead ask how close this relationship can get us to God.

• Is there a right or wrong way to date? - there are many warnings about marrying non-Christians (Deut 7:3-4, 2 Cor 6:14). It's not about intolerance or superiority complexes, but about your first love. For Christians, our most priority is towards God and obedience to Him determines our future. If your husband/wife does not believe in God, it will be difficult to keep Him as your ultimate priority. Would you compromise your faith if your partner asked you to? What if they grow jealous of God? What if they begin to openly oppose this relationship? If you marry an unbeliever, you risk being drawn away from God. I'm using the word 'marriage' a lot here: but if our aim in dating someone is to find a partner for a more serious relationship, we need to be aware that this could develop into something that God warns against.
  

• What kind of boundaries should be in place? - it's essential that you set boundaries in young relationships, and these should ideally mirror those stated by God in the Bible. You should have guidelines that cover everything from physical touch, appropriate/inappropriate topics of discussion, pure speech, treating someone with honour and respect and building a spiritual basis for your relationship (Heb 13:18). Commitment to maintaining the boundaries is the sign of a healthy relationship. Good judgement is vital in good decision-making, especially surrounding relationships. Beauty and lust have clouded the judgement of humans since the beginning of time (Prov 11:22). If you are dating someone who is attempting to push the boundaries laid down by God and yourselves, don't let this cloud your judgment. Good judgment calls for clear boundaries and making godly decisions, so that you won't compromise your relationship with God (Prov 31:30). Finally, guard against physical intimacy in a dating relationship. Such intimacy should be reserved for marriage, because it is the picture of the purity and devotion that we strive for in our relationship with God (1 Thess 4:3-5).
  

Blygt.